Poor Us: The Story of Our Broke Days
I still remember when I handed the lady my WIC application, and she asked what income we had besides my work-study job and grant, and I answered honestly, “Nothing,” which made me feel shameful.
Dee and I are not wealthy. We are comfortable, or at least comfortable enough. When we moved into our first house in Indianapolis, a family member referred to us as rich. The house was the biggest we had owned but by no means placed us in the rich category.
Ten years earlier, we were not so comfortable. Our first home as newlyweds was a one-bedroom, one-bath, lower-level duplex. We had a spacious yard and a porch for people-watching, but the inside was lacking. Every room was small, and the path to the kitchen at the back of the house required walking through the bedroom, which had no doors. We still lived in that small place when our first daughter was born. I was in my last year of undergrad, but we knew we would go crazy if we did not find a more comfortable place to live.
Dee had worked full-time for more than two years for a company 20 minutes away. We relocated to a two-bedroom, government-subsidized apartment that was just down the street from his office. Although I was a full-time student and a new mom, I also had a work-study job on campus. We determined Dee could scale back his hours to 32 a week and still have full-time benefits, so he enrolled in a couple of college classes. Right after our move, Dee was laid off from his job. We knew we could not live on my work-study income and Pell Grant, so he applied for unemployment benefits. He was quickly denied, because even though he had been working full-time for years, college students were not eligible to draw unemployment. We appealed, but the wait for a resolution was long.
I breastfed our daughter when I could, and for a while, my dad was able to purchase dented cans of Similac through his employer. We also used a small hand-crank food grinder for her fruits and veggies. Someone referred us to the Women, Infants, and Children (WIC), program. I still remember when I handed the lady my WIC application, and she asked what income we had besides my work-study job and grant, and I answered honestly, “Nothing,” which made me feel shameful. The vouchers we received supplied our little one with cereals and protein; we occasionally picked up jars of Blueberry Buckle as a treat for all of us.
We had to get creative for our sustenance, too. Dee’s only request was that we never buy Ramen noodles, because he suffered major burnout from both Ramen and eggs when he first moved out on his own before we were married. I lived on campus where I was well fed, and I had no idea he was starving himself to be able to afford more substantial meals when I would visit him on the weekends.
As young, broke parents, we often bought a package of hotdogs, which provided us with at least three meals. Sometimes we “splurged” for chili-dog sauce or pork ‘n’ beans to jazz them up. We took advantage of Little Caesars “2 for $8.88” deal, which provided more than four dinners. We also learned to be creative cooks after we bought a couple large frozen turkeys on sale for Thanksgiving. We dined on roasted turkey; turkey and rice; turkey tetrazzini; turkey sandwiches; and whatever other turkey concoctions we could imagine.
My parents sent us gas money, so we could visit for Christmas. Since we were not working, we were able to enjoy an extended stay. I remember walking into Toys“R”Us to purchase four small toys for our baby girl’s first Christmas. Knowing that some folks could not even do that much gave me some perspective. We were fortunate to have our support system. I still feel awful for not attending my cousin’s wedding during our rough patch. Mom would have sent gas money for that too, but I refused to show up without a gift.
Months later, the unemployment office finally allowed Dee a hearing for his appeal. He barely said a full sentence before the examiner said he was eligible for the benefits and would receive retroactive payments.
We had more days of scrimping after I graduated, especially when I was laid off from my first professional job after the company lost two large clients; that happened on the same day we were scheduled to close on the purchase of what should have been our first house. When we arrived to sign the documents, I told the title officer that I had just lost my job, so the deal was a bust. We lived with Dee’s parents at the time, which gave us a roof over our heads, and we did not go hungry. I recall we borrowed $200 from them, which was a lot at that time, and I felt such a relief when we were able to pay it back. As soon as I secured a new job, we bought a mobile home, where we stayed for a couple of years.
We wanted to have a second child three years after our first, but we felt compelled to wait until we were in a better financial position. A coworker convinced me that we would regret waiting too long. She said something to the effect that sometimes in life you need to just take a leap and pray everything will work out. And so, we leaped. We bought our first house when I was pregnant with our second daughter. The bedrooms were small, but we had three of them, and best of all, they had doors.
Our long marriage has seen job losses and pay cuts, health concerns, poor financial decisions, and plenty of unplanned expenses, but on many other occasions we came out ahead. Our decisions to pursue college degrees certainly gave us a leg up. Our everyday frugality and deep research before making big purchases helped, too. We have always spent less than we could afford, which kept us in a comfortable spot.
A quick drive down the road shows me we are still not what I would consider wealthy. Being monetarily rich was never our goal, though I would not be upset if we were to win the lottery. God willing, we will officially retire someday and rest a bit more, play a lot more, travel some, and spend precious time with our family. Those lights at the end of the tunnel make all prior struggles worth the experience.
